LMS - Trick or Trading

Okay. Last night we saw the airing of a Halloween-themed Last Man Standing. I'll start at the beginning and hit the highlights.

Mike Baxter and his youngest daughter, Eve, are shopping for Halloween costumes, even though she's 13 and everyone knows trick-or-treating is for children. But that won't stop Dad. He points out several great costumes, including a super funny one - a female president. Personally, I thought the costume looked like Hillary Clinton. I agreed with Dad. How hysterical. Eventually, he picks up on the fact that Eve isn't all that thrilled about trick-or-treating with the ole' Dad this year and she comes right out and confirms it. Yep. There won't be any treatin' by this duo this year. How sad.

We see the theme for Last Man Standing as the pair of hiking boots plop down among the high heels and flats. Yay for shoes! Anyway, then we get a taste of why these teenage girls make wrong choices: Mom. Yes, Mom has decided to dress up for Halloween! Like a prostitute...I mean, pirate. "Shiver me timbers!" Even Mike has picked up on this and asks if her "treasures" should be a bit more buried. Yes, thank you for the innuendo. She actually doesn't look too bad, compared to a lot of the skanky costumes out there.

And enter Mandy, the middle child. Mandy wants to know if Dad picked up her Alley Cat costume, a.k.a, fur-lined bikini. Instead, he got her a Garfield costume, America's favorite cat, which would cover her entire body. Gasp! Of course, it's hard to take good parenting advice from Mom when her panties say booty.

Then along comes Kristin, who hands over 2-year-old Boyd and orders Mike not to take him trick-or-treating. There's some funny one-liners in there about information from Dad about Halloween sinking in but not the stuff about using proper birth control. Whatever, Kristin says no trick-or-treating at all and she's off to the Diner for her shift!

Next, we get a scene from Outdoor World, Mike's workplace. Mike tries to get Kyle, Kristin's boyfriend, to convince her Boyd can go trick-or-treating. He's a pansy and refuses. What a loser. And he's not even cute. I mean, really?

Back at home, neighbor Bill and his kids come over trick-or-treating and Bill takes an instant (and super awkward) liking to Vanessa (Mom's) costume. Mandy heads out to her party in her massive Garfield costume. Mike comes down in a military costume and Vanessa tries to guess who he is, naming every John Wayne character until she gets to John Wayne in Green Berets. Something tells me Mike is John Wayne...every year. And Boyd looks adorable in a skeleton costume!

Vanessa is instantly suspicious that Mike is taking Boyd out trick-or-treating, which he denies. While she's off getting candy, he confides in Eve that he's taking Boyd to see the old lady on the corner who "doesn't have many Halloweens left." I thought that was mighty clever on his part. We all know he's going trick-or-treating with the kid. It's inevitable. Without it, there'd be no episode!

There's an interesting scene where Mike and Boyd trick-or-treat at Mike's boss' house and he establishes that he's not listening to Kristin. And Ed's (the boss) lady friend shows up. Yeah. She was awkward looking. And it was a weird scene. So Mike heads home.

At home, Eve explains why she didn't wanna dress up and trick-or-treat for Halloween. She's trying to impress a ninth-grader at school, Victor Blake, who thinks trick-or-treating is lame. And doorbell rings and...cue Bill, awkward neighbor who is obviously digging the pirate costume. Then Mike comes home, takes off Boyd's mask and...OH MY GOODNESS, who saw that coming??? It's not Boyd. It's an adorable Asian kid. Of course, the mix-up happened off-screen so we're not really sure how exactly Mike managed to switch kids but...it happened.

They figure out it's the Wong kid and call the Wongs to see if they have Boyd. They do and agree to bring him over to switch back. Good thing they didn't wanna keep him. I mean, if I switched kids with that adorable Boyd, I might keep him...

While they wait for the Wongs, we've got another plot line to tie up. Mandy sneaks in in a trenchcoat, practically screaming "I'm hiding something!" Oh yeah. She's hiding a super skanky costume. She chopped off Garfield's ears and turned them into a bikini top and his tail is now sticking out of her butt. Yep. Things seem to be looking up when...you guessed it. Kristin comes home. Mike tries to stall her but it doesn't work.

Kristin finds out Boyd was switched and freaks out. Why couldn't Dad just do what she wanted? Because he's Tim Allen. Anyway, Victor shows up - looking very nice in a cop costume - and says he wants Eve to come hang out at his house and hand out candy. Can I get a collective "aww"?

Finally, the Wongs show up and trade back kids. Mrs. Wong, a judge, threatens the Baxters, saying that if they ever get so much as a traffic ticket, she will see that they hang. Of course, she threatens them in Japanese (or Chinese, i'm not sure which) so they think she's saying nice things about them. They wave her, her husband and little Wong Jr. off.

Bill attempts to win Vanessa's heart one more time - in an ill-fitting tux - and we see a cute final scene where Mike feeds Boyd with a train-spoon. My personal favorite. The train then turns into a dead deer, every kid's dream.

And that is it for the first recap! Okay, i know this one was a little rough but it was my first one. Give me a break. Next one will be better! But this one was awesome, I know. Comment and tell me what you think of the episode!